Saturday, December 3, 2016

Into A Downward Spiral

Hi guys, as the title suggests, I guess you can tell that my life hasn't been going so great. Ever since the start of this semester, lots of things haven't been going right. Ranging from lecturers to coursemates and even my syllabus. Just everything seems to be going wrong... Sigh. Been really struggling to keep my good conscience these days. Its really evident that Uni is the main cause of my emotional and mental trauma, because when I go to church or anywhere else on the weekends, I feel completely normal.

The overwhelming stress is really taking a toll on me. Imagine having to deal with your whole class who is prejudiced against you just because of one or two guys who have an issue with you, not just for one day, but five days a week (which sums up to 24 hours of classes per week). On top of that, needing to handle the craziness of 6 core subjects... While also struggling with a couple of incompetent lecturers. I've come so close to the point where I've had enough of all this. Never in my life did I think that I would want to quit something, especially not studies. These of course, are just thoughts at this point. Obviously, I would not want to jeapordize my future and my parents' investments into my education. But I really am considering to take a year off studies just to refocus my life and finding the direction where its headed.

These days, everything seems so blue. Not sure if its just my outlook or whether the world is actually becoming a colder place. Being a Christian, sometimes I wonder if having a career even means anything at all lol. According to the many signs, it shows that the end times is now and that at any moment, He would return. It makes me wonder if I am really living right. All my energy seems to be invested in other things like studies, computer games, movies, social media and other secular things which kinda doubles the stress that my mind is going through. GAAAAAH. Don't know anymore. Just really don't know what to do.

My family thinks that I'm depressed (which I probably am lol) which I could tell from the way they've been treating me lately. I mean, well, they've been treating me extra nice (not that they didn't before) and always having that "concerned" look on their faces.

With all that said, I just want to share that, often times, we fail to realize what others are going through. The way you treat someone can really affect their lives and I realize now that the root cause of this world's problems lies in selfishness and arrogance. The world as we know it, is growing colder and colder each day. Don't let the fire of love die out, I urge you all to love others with what strength you have and rebuke any form of hate towards anyone. Please, don't conform to the pattern of this world or rather, stop being a part of the herd. Don't hate someone because others do. Get to know someone before placing judgements on them.

That's all I wanted to rant about. Yep. Nobody likes to read sad stuff but hey, that's the reality of life. Ain't no happy times without the bad times. Peace out.

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